


A fountain of pointless knowledge

by liionne



Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: I swear, M/M, Some Fluff, Some angst, Some pre-slash, and Tarsus IV, everything, some Academy Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka 5 pointless facts Jim knew, and one not-so-pointless fact that Bones knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A fountain of pointless knowledge

_5\. Hershey’s kisses are called ‘kisses’ because the machine looks like it’s kissing the conveyer belt._

“Booooones, please tell me you brought food, I’ve cleared out the whole fridge and I’m still hungry.”

Bones just rolled his eyes. He’d had a full morning of classes and then covered M’Benga’s shift at the hospital as well as done his own. It was getting close to eleven o’clock in the evening and he hadn’t done any of tomorrow’s homework, he hadn’t looked over the patient files transferred to him when a colleague went on maternity, and he had certainly hadn’t had time to call Jocelyn even though she rang him at least ten times about Joanna’s upcoming birthday.

He had, however, brought Jim food.

“There you go, you gannet.” He muttered, dumping the bag of take out and a few groceries onto the kitchen table.

Jim barely waited for him to retract his hand before he tore into it.

“Oo, Chinese food!” He exclaimed, as Bones went to throw his jacket onto his bed and change out of his scrubs. Bones just rolled his eyes again, muttered “infant” under his breath, and shut the bedroom door.

When he returned he found the paper box empty, sweet and sour sauce forming a ring around Jim’s lips. Jim had broken into the Hershey’s Kisses he’d bought too. Bones growled. “Damn it, Jim, those were supposed to be a gift!”

“You left them in my bag of food, Bones. What was I supposed to think?” Jim raised an eyebrow and popped another one in his mouth.

“Fine.” Bones grumbled. “But you’re buying a new bag.”

“You know why they call ‘em kisses, Bones?” Jim asked, pointedly ignoring his question.

With a sigh, Leonard took the bait. “Why?”

“’Cause when they’re being made it looks like the machine is kissing the conveyer belt.” Jim smiled. Bones rolled his eyes, and on his way to the fridge he pecked Jim’s lips. “Yeah, like that.” Jim grinned, puckering his lips for another one.

And well, who was Bones to deny him?

_4\. When you sneeze, all your bodily functions stop, even your heart._

Jim liked lazy Sunday mornings when they could lie in bed together and do absolutely nothing all day. It was even better considering that at least 99% of the time they were naked. Jim liked that bit too.

On this particular Sunday morning, he was lying on top of Bones, his head lying on the older man’s chest, legs lying between Bones’ parted thighs. He lay listening to the sound of Bones breathing, to the rhythmic beating of his mended heart. He was sure his heart was beating in sync, falling into Bones’ own steady pattern. He could have fell asleep, laying there, lulled to rest by the rise and fall of his chest-

Until every muscle in his body tensed up, his nose wrinkled and he gave maybe the biggest sneeze Jim had ever seen in his life.

They were both pretty started by it. It took Jim a while to settle back down on top of him, resting his chin just above Bones’ navel. “You know when you sneeze, all of your bodily functions stop. Even your heart.” He nodded.

“Sure.” Bones muttered, running a hand through Jim’s hair.

“For like, an eighth of a second, but still-”

“I’m not doubting’ ya kid.” Bones murmured, reaching a thumb down to brush Jim’s lips as he smiled.

_3\. Porcupines float in water_

The real-water bath was a Captain’s privilege. Bones, as CMO, may have gotten his own private quarters rather than the bunks the other crewman shared, but he was still stuck with a sonic shower. Whereas Jim’s quarters came with a walk-in shower with both sonic and water settings, and a separate tub specifically for baths.

Bones knew that Jim rarely used the tub, unless he’d had a particularly bad nightmare and needed to dunk himself in cold water to numb his body and thus, his brain. Which was why Bones rarely let Jim sleep alone, for a start, and also why he would walk into Jim’s quarters if and when he felt like it and declared, “I’m taking a bath!”

Usually Jim would leave him to it, but there were times, like today, where he would chirp, “I’ll take one with you!” and strip off only to find that it took 15 minutes for the tub to fill up.

Fifteen minutes and a cold Jim later they were settled, Bones lying with his back to Jim’s stomach between his legs, his head leaning against Jim’s gently. With fingers laced together he moved their hands through the water, more relaxed than he’d ever been, he was sure.

“You know,” Jim began, but Bones didn’t have the heart to wince. He knew there was another pointless fact on the way, but he didn’t care. Couldn’t care. “Porcupines float in water.”

“That’s great, Jim.” He murmured, turning his head to kiss his cheek.

_2\. More people are alive today than have ever died._

Shore leave was almost uncommon for them, but when it rolled around they always spent it together. Not nearly always, not nine times out of ten, but always, whether Bones was going home to Georgia or Jim to Iowa or not. They always went together.

Because Jim got fidgety on shore leave when there wasn’t some conflict to run head on into and he was left with time to actually think.

He was sat at the window, tucked up onto the little window-seat of their high-rises apartment in San Francisco. Neither of them had plans, so they’d stayed “home” instead, and Jim had spent a lot of time looking out of the window at the bustling, busy street below them.

“You know more people are alive today than have ever died?”

Bones raised an eyebrow as he brought Jim a cup of coffee. There wasn’t enough room for him on the window seat too, so he stood by his side instead. “Well, sure, with all the alien races the federation have found-”

“No, I mean humans. Human beings. There are more alive than have ever died.” Jim answered, taking a sip from the mug.

Bones frowned softly. “What’re you getting at, Jim?”

He gave a soft sigh. “Well what if it keeps going? What if people just keep on living and- and the people that have died are just-” He frowned deeply, like a child that had forgotten a word. “Forgotten.”

Bones moved to sit on the window seat now, shoving Jim’s feet out of the way so that he could sit down, his back to window. He may have been cured of his aviophobia but he still suffered somewhat from vertigo. He knew it was Memorial Day coming up. “You thinking about your dad?”

Jim scoffed scornfully. “As if anyone’s gonna forget him.”

“So - what?” Bones asked. He reached a hand out to rest on Jim’s knee as they were pulled up to his chest.

Jim leaned his head back against the wall and looked out of the window, his blue eyes reflecting the blue of the early afternoon sky. This time, he didn’t meet Bones’ worried gaze when he murmured, “Tarsus.”

Bones gave a soft sigh, setting his mug down on the seat beside him. He reached across to cup Jim’s cheek, thumb brushing his cheekbones. “People’ll always remember, Jim. And not just because it’s history. Because they want to.” He pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Even if it’s just us. Alright?”

Jim did meet his eyes then, a weak smile turning up the edges of his lips. “Alright.”

_1.You are born with 300 bones, but as an adult you only have 206._

“Bones, c’mon.” Jim whined, as Bones looked through some more of the patient files he’d been given.

“I can’t, Jim, I need this done for tomorrow’s physicals.” Bones answered, his tone firm. “So stop whining.”

“But Boooones” Jim whined again, pouting and giving his best blue doe eyes, batting his lashes like a Disney princess.

“No.” Bones scowled, and looked back down at his PADD.

“Fine.” Jim huffed. He sat down on the desk Bones sat at, even though he was leaning back in his swivel chair with the bed resting on his knee. Jim kicked his legs absently, and then he grinned.

“You know,” He began, and Bones gave an irritated sigh.

He looked up at Jim through narrowed eyes. “This better be good.”

Jim continued unperturbed. “When you’re born, you have around 300 bones in your body, but as an adult you only have 206.”

“Damn it kid, I’m a doctor, of course I know that.” Bones snapped, looking back down at his PADD with a scowl.

Jim hopped down from the desk and moved around to stand behind the chair, his lips close to Bones’ ear. “But if you come to bed with me right now, I can make it 207.”

And then he threw himself unceremoniously onto the bed, tugging off his trousers as he did so. Bones, meanwhile, blinked a few times, gulped, and then switched off the PADD and joined him.

_1+ Engagement rings are worn on the left ring finger as it was supposed to be the finger that held the “ **vena amoris** ” that ran straight to the heart._

It was another lazy Sunday, Jim’s favourite day, except this one was different. It was different because they weren’t at the academy anymore - Lazy Sundays had become a thing of the past when he’d began to Captain his own starship. Jim had been counting, too. This was the 55th Sunday since their last Lazy Sunday together. But here they were, in Jim’s bed at last, wearing nothing but sweatpants and their underwear respectively, Bones lying the same way Jim had all those years; tucked between his legs, cheek resting on his chest.

Bones had a hold of one of Jim’s hands, and he ran his finger along Jim’s ring finger a few times, his touch feather light. And although he was enjoying the silence, he said, “You know why engagement rings are worn on the left ring finger?”

“Why?” Jim asked. He smiled as he ran his hand up and down Bones’s back.

“’Cause they used to believe that the left ring finger was the finger that held the _Vena Amoris_. They thought it went right from your finger to your heart.” He traced the path with his finger, from the tip of his finger, up his arm, to his heart.

Jim smiled a little. “Interesting.” He nodded.

“Of course,” Bones added, with a shrug, “It’s anatomically incorrect. There’s no big vein running from your finger to your heart, but it’s a nice thought.”

“A nice thought.” Jim echoed. He paused, before adding, “And you’re telling me this because?”

Bones untangled his fingers from Jim’s to root around in the pocket of his sweatpants. He pulled out a small blue box, and placed it on Jim’s chest.

“And to think that I thought that was just you being a little too happy about our lazy Sunday.” Jim smirked.

“Open it.” Bones urged, ignoring the comment.

Jim did as he was told. Bones laced his fingers together and placed them on Jim’s abs, resting his chin on them as he watched.

Jim opened the box knowing fine well what was in it. The two rings were plain, a simple band of silver, but they still took Jim’s breath away a little. And even though he was totally thrown by this, he was still going to be a little shit about it.

“Guys don’t usually wear wedding rings.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

Bones may have looked a little hurt. “It’s all a matter of preference. And anyway, these ones are silver. The wedding rings’ll be gold.”

“Oh well in the case-” Jim grabbed the box and sat up, forcing Bones to kneel between his legs. With his head close to Bones’, he took his hand, and placed one of the rings on his finger. He waited for Bones to do the same, but he hesitated.

“Don’t make me put it on myself.” Jim murmured, grinning a little.

Bones nodded as if he’d forgotten, and gently took Jim’s left hand, sliding the ring onto his fourth finger.

“I love you.” he murmured.

Jim smiled. “I love you too.”


End file.
